g l o w & i n t e n s i f y
Subido J. , 17 year old dreamer from Neverland.
Currently: Single - and you`re going to have to
be pretty amazing to change that. ♥ :)
Play me a song, I`ll sing for you.
I`ll make your day if you don`t destroy mine.
Dear you,
So here I am. I`m back with more intense feelings for you. I love you. I`m sure of that. I used to ask myself and others “How would you know if you like someone or you love them?”. I finally realized that if you love a person, you just know it. You don`t doubt what you feel. That`s what I feel for you. I have nothing much to say to you right now. I`ve been trying to show you how I feel for the past few days but all I`ve gotten from you is mixed messages. Words can`t even describe how much I hate you right now. Then again, words can`t describe how much I love you either. One thing`s for sure though, my love for you surpasses the amount of hate I feel for you. Wait, actually, I don`t hate you. I can`t hate you. I`m just hurt; deeply hurt.
So, how many days do we have left? Should I tell you already? Tell me, should I take the risk or not? I seriously want you to know, but I don`t know how. I`m afraid of how you`ll react. Another thing, I have absolutely no idea how I can tell you. I don`t wanna tell you through ym. Nor do I wanna tell you through sms. But gaaahh, we don`t talk so how can can I tell you personally. :| This sucks. I can`t keep my feelings bottled up.
If I don’t say this now I will surely break
As I’m leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I’ll look after you
There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go
Will you won’t you, be the one I’ll always know
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down
I`ll find a way to get to you. I can`t spend my summer with regrets of never telling you. I`m not expecting you to like me back anymore, that seems impossible already. I`ll just hope we don`t become strangers.
I still love you, I`m sorry.
Sincerely, me.
Dear you,
I hate to admit it but I still like you alot. Yes, I know that I`ve been saying that I`m over you, I`m letting go, I hate you, blah blah blah, but it`s not my fault I`m so caught up on you. I try to forget about you, but I just can`t. I try to not get affected by the things you do, but I always do.
Well, you know what sucks about liking a flirt? It`s when you`re desperately in love but to him, you`re just another girl. You won`t ever know if you`re special to him cause he treats all the girls he knows like they`re his one and only. He makes you feel like you`re important then you go and find out that you`re nothing to him. He probably won`t care if you get hurt. After all, he didn`t tell you to fall for him. You chose to give in to your emotions and fall. Yes, that`s what I did.
Again, I wanna let go, but I can`t. I don`t know what it is you do but everytime I see you, I fall. I fall all over again. I may seem like I ignore you, but little do you know that deep inside, I`m dying to talk to you. I fight the urge to talk to you cause I`m scared you wouldn`t care. I just miss how we were. You used to be the person I turn to when I`m sad cause everytime I spoke to you, you`d be able to make me smile. You never fail to cheer me up and you never needed to try, you just simply did.
I don`t wanna say goodbye but if that`s what you want, then just keep giving signals and I`ll back off. I love you, belated happy valentine`s day. :]
Love, me.
Dear you,
So I didn`t wanna continue making this “because you`re special” thing but then I saw your stat. Grabe, patama ah. :))))) THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Call me makapal but I like to think you direct your stats to me. Yan ah, I admit na I`m makapal. HAHAHA. Anyway, that`s (thinking you direct your stats to me) what makes it hurt so much more. I know right, cause I`m stupid like that. :|
Today, people still kept asking me about you. They reacted when they saw you. They were calling me and stuff. Eff all thosee. Grrrr. But I must admit, whenever they say you`re around, I`d be like “omg :D”. Err yeah. Anywhoo, I`m still really sorry. If your stat is for me, then I just want to tell you that I don`t want to be out of your life. If I was a part of it, to start with. I don`t want you to be out of mine. Yes, you were a great part of my life. You kinda made me like myself more. I may be a pessimist but idk, you lessened that, I guess. Haha.
Whatever happens tho, let it be. If you`re meant to be in my life; even if it`s just as friends, I`d be more than happy to let you in. :)
Love, me.
Dear you,
Well, you used to be really special to me. You started being cold and I tried to reach out to you just so we wouldn`t grow apart. Whatever I did, you found a way for my plan to fall apart. We`ve grown distant; are you happy now? I hope you are cause this was what you wanted anyway, right?
I think I`m finally ready to let go. I don`t see any reason in sticking around. You`re blatantly letting me know that I need to go. I get it already. Now just stop with all those stats. You just never had the guts to say things straight to me, did you? You never spoke to me directly. You always used that stupid status function on ym to tell me things you couldn`t. I know cause I`m guilty of that too. But how the hell would we clear things if you can`t friggin talk to me? Am I that hard to talk to?
Well, eff that. If you don`t want to clear things out, then I don`t give a damn anymore. Do whatever you like, I don`t own you anyway. Just remember this whenever you see me put a stat in ym: My world doesn`t revolve around you. Not anymore. You were special to me; I was nothing to you. And cause of that, you`ve grown unimportant. I`ll put any stat I want. But don`t assume it`s for you. I have a life. I`m living my life. With or without you, my life will be awesome. It always has been and it always will be.
Sure, my life`s pretty messed up now, but I still have my friends. Yes, that`s what makes my life so effin fantastic. :) Take care.
Love, me.
Dear you,
I remembered the story Ms.B told us in English yesterday. The story`s title was “Guess How Much I Love You”. Being my natural, bitter self, I blatantly said “Wow, that`s a lame title. I bet the story`s even lame-r.” The people around me heard it and thought I was jokingly saying that. Well, I wasn`t. Eversince he started acting cold, I`ve been alot more bitter than I used to be. Anyway, the moral of the story was “love couldn`t be measured”. But what bothered me was the fact that the story was about a little hare trying to measure how much it loved his mother (so yes, it`s a mother&child thing) and I was thinking about one person the whole friggin time.
Why is it so hard to let go of you? Or how about this: How do I let go of someone I never had? These are the 2 questions I think about most. I really want to let you go but I just can`t. Maybe I`m not meant to let go; not yet, at least. But if I`m not yet meant to let go, then what am I supposed to do? Just allow myself to keep getting hurt?
My friends say I should talk to you. They say that`s the only way I`ll find my peace of mind. The problem is that you have an ego the size of a whale, and my ego isn`t that much less than yours. And besides, rejection is one of my greatest fear. More often than not, I see rejection and failure as the end of the world. Sure, that`s sort of melodramatic, but hey, I`ve experienced enough crap and I`m sick of it.
I hope you remember that day you told me you hope things would change. I see change, but not the change I wanted. I miss you. I thought that we`d become close friends again when we experience the “change”. But noooo, you had to go and act all cold. And you know what that means. “When one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it.” But yeah, I hope we get to talk and clear everything up already. I think I`m ready to take the risk. But I would have to know when I could talk to you. Haha. And whatever happens, happens. If my feelings aren`t reciprocated, you better not be apathetic and don`t you dare act like we never met. All I need is someone I can talk to about anything and not feel awkward. And when I talked to you(before), that`s how I felt. I felt like I could open up to you. Jeez, just let me in, even as a friend.
Love, me.
Dear you,
I made you a song. I wanted to let you hear it. I wrote it when I felt like nothing could ever bring me down. And yes, I wrote it just for you. It`s hard to make a song if you aren`t inspired. I was inspired at that time so I made you a song. Now, I regret it. All you give me now is effin bs. You don`t know how much I hate you right now. I dunno when all this hate will fade. But I`m pretty sure it`ll fade fast. :| But. You better stop playing with people`s hearts, jerk. Stop being so egotistical, self-centered and conceited.
Oh and I`m saying this in advance, have a happy February. Try not to break any more hearts, okay?
Love, me.
Dear you,
Today, I saw you but I didn`t bother saying hi. I didn`t even look at you. I`m pretty sure you saw me cause I was right in front of you. I don`t know if you were just waiting for me to say hi or if you just really didn`t care. I don`t know what to do anymore. I tell myself I don`t like you but all that does is make me miss you. I tell my friends and those who ask that I wouldn`t care one bit if I never spoke to you again but they all reply “Psh. Yeah right”. It`s pretty obvious I`m not over you. I don`t know when and if I`ll ever get over you. I`ve been trying for around 3 months already but still no progress in forgetting about you. Do you see how much you`ve affected me? I never really thought I`d feel this way for anyone. Honestly, I`ve always been a bitter person. I remember telling my friends “Why do you guys have crushes anyway? There`s so much more to life than liking someone.” How ironic, I can`t seem to get you off my mind. And I guess I really am a masochist for telling myself that one day, you`ll see things from my perspective and hopefully appreciate me like how I appreciate you even tho I get hurt alot.
It may seem like you don`t matter to me anymore when I see you. My friends make it really obvious whenever you`re around and I know they want me to look at you. They probably do that cause they knew that whenever I saw you, I`d be like a fangirl who was able to stare in the eyes of her idol screaming like crazy. The only difference would be that I wouldn`t show it. That was before tho. Now, whenever I see you, it just breaks me because we used to be so close. I used to be able to talk to you about anything and everything. You said you wanted change; I agreed cause I didn`t know this was the change you wanted. But anyway, just know that I never stopped liking you, I just chose to stop showing it. :)
Love, me.
© Anjelize 2009
